Long Overdue Art Post III

The last round of back-logged art:


These are all my original works.

Long Overdue Art Post II

Another set from earlier this year...


These are all my original works.

Long Overdue Art Post I

It's been a while since I've put up any art, so there's a bit of a back log...




These are all my original works.

Home Update:

My livingroom, with Ghostbusters II playing on the TV.

And from the other side....

I Don't Have Anything To Share

I just like to watch all of you.

Golden Gate Park

Golden Gate Park:



Some pictures from the Redwood Forest trail in the Botanical Gardens....

It reminds me of the Olympic National Forest, except on a much smaller scale! I miss that place, it is so vibrant, life and moisture and sap and green seeping in from the very air!















Next was the California Native Plants Trail, and then a lovely mother duck with her eggs!



























I think that one egg was broken, sadly, and she must be sitting on the rest. Poet took this picture, it's lovely.

He also took these ones of me, he sure is talented! How dramatic!























I took this picture of Poet, he's not the only one who can take classy pictures! (Although his are obviously much more professional, but I think I still make him look pretty!)














This one he took of me at home, in front of our classy mantle on top of our classy fainting couch. He insisted we needed "classy" pictures. Whatever you say, Abeulo.




So, speaking of neat vintage and San Francisco related things, I recently had occasion to visit Loved to Death on Haight Street.
Oh my, such amazingness! I couldn't believe how good their prices were, if you are into antiquarian, steam punk, taxidermy, or dead things in general, you have to make this visit. I got, among other things, a fox skull for $35. Very fair, more than fair! I will post pictures of all the cool stuff I got there soon.

Golden Advice

Firstly, the situation at hand:
"Time to confront your demons.

Hell is our own creation. We cannot move forward in our lives without facing that which torments us. The more we understand and face our fears, the less power they have over us. Fear of failure may be preventing you from reaching your full potential. Look back at all that you have weathered in the past to see that you have the strength to survive if things go wrong. This may help you to realise[sic] that it is worth taking risks in order to do what you think is right. This is a card of temptation and perhaps addiction. Depending upon where it appears in a spread, it could indicate a need for the subject to question their own motives. Are they following a path deliberately that could be destructive?"

The Devil:

The path to resolution:
"Horses will only follow the reigns if they want to.

Leadership of a team. Pragmatism, collaboration and compromise. A victory obtained by working with others, not against them. It is time to analyse[sic] the causes of problems you encounter, and change what you can about yourself in order to overcome them. Changing one's own behaviour[sic] is more likely to succeed than trying to change the behaviour[sic] of others."

I think this so appropriate, and helpful. When applied to the situation I'm in(or more like coming out of), it rather reminds me of The Metamorphoses, considering how it was preceded by this:
The catalyzing action:
"Do what is right.

Fairness, justice and equal opportunity. Fate may aim to give all what they deserve, but sometimes she needs a helping hand, and the strong should help the weak."

Justice:

The Golden Tarot by Kat Black

Thank you, thank you for all the messages, the encouragement, the little indicators. Thank you for every sign that now is a time to improve my life and my action. By putting an image of the most indecent human nature in front of me, you made me understand that when it comes to living a moral life, what goes around comes around. And not just because we hope people get just desserts, "karma" is less about getting what's coming to you and almost entirely about maintaining, pruning, and upkeeping your moral heart.
I was already aware of this concept, yes. From Mengzi I had learned that we all have the seeds of virtue and vice within us, and that is those seeds that we nurture that determine our nature.
However, this recent experience made the dangers of failing to constantly check moral vigilance frighteningly clear. Life will always find a way to scare the pants off you by showing you a person, object, or situation that gives you a mirror to what lies in store if you follow your own worst inclinations.
While what I saw was immeasurably far off from where I could even imagine finding myself, it taught me an important lesson about always acting in a manner in which you can endure past the worst possible interpretations of your own behavior. We must not allow ourselves to lower our standards in the company we keep, for in order to tolerate them we learn to tolerate their values, and if we don't see eye to eye on issues so basic as kindness, honesty, and esteem, we can only hurt ourselves by back sliding. The more we let them shroud our instinct, the more our introspective mirror becomes shrouded, the more we gaze in the bitter glass, the more we are tempted by the whispers of subtle guile.
The more we nurture the seeds of deception and of denial, the more they grow to obscure the best of what we are. Please, to all those still putting up with the double talk, the entanglement, cut back the brambles before it becomes impossible. But it is never impossible.
Never have anything in your life that you don't want to know the truth about. It may sound preachy or redundant, but wait until you have the fear of a remorseless heart before you, ready to harm and tear asunder all that you take for granted, then the message is terribly cold and imminent.
The best way to avoid the situation The Devil card presents is to follow the message of The Justice card, with the confidence and initiative of the The Chariot card.

New Goodies

I found these cordial glasses for $2 a piece at our favorite antique store yesterday:















Detail:
I love the gold detail, they are adorable! I almost want drink absinthe out of them, but I have never been a fan of anise/liquorish flavored things. I know I'll just end up staring at them on a shelf, I don't drink any liquors! haha
I also purchased the red candy dish and vase in the background from the same store, also for less than $5 each, although I don't recall how much. Also, we picked up a coffee table there. It's not spectacular but it was only $49, and it is certainly a better fit for our home than the modern(read: cheap), black, presumably IKEA-born table we had before.

Friend

–noun

1.

a person attached to another by feelings of affection, esteem, or personal regard.

This is a subject of particular relevance to me in the last year, because everywhere you go in mainstream American culture, you hear, "don't let any body judge you," "don't judge me!"
I've even been told by some rather needy people "not to judge" them when they spiral into self destruction or badly use myself or their other friends without return.
So, I wonder; where did this idea come from that we are supposed to suspend morality for our friends of all people?

I'm firm believer in the idea that we should be helping people through the hard times, and have history of doing so, but friendship should NEVER be unconditional. That's just a bunch of nonsense.
To me, friendship means that you have a relationship with some you like, have affection for, but most of all hold in mutual esteem.
I hear a lot of this grade-school romanticism talk wherein people say to each other, "I'll be there for you no matter what!"
No, I won't. I even had a conversation with my own mother, wherein we were in total agreement that if one of us became a Nazi we'd expect the other to cut that person off. I know that my mom holds not only love, but friendship for me as well, so it's out of respect for the person I am that she doesn't care for the person I'm not.
You hold friends responsible for what they do, if they are going through hard times then you exercise patience, give them chances to change their lives, and you help them out with all your reasonable(and some times not so reasonable) means, but if they become someone you don't like THEN THEY AREN'T YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE. Here, I am talking about behaviors that become habitual. I'm a firm believer that if friend A is behaving badly, and friend B is counseling A to make changes and A becomes unpleasantly recognizable, then B is not so much demonstrating loyalty as they are demonstrating codependency and facilitation.
I have found that it is characteristic of grade-school relationships (which are fewer but not gone in adult life) is that the only way B can help A change at this point is to send the most powerful message about A's behavior possible and break off contact. B can expound however they wish about how disappointed and unsettled they are about A's behavior, but if the behavior continues and B sticks around indefinitely, the only message A receives is that their behavior is ultimately allowable. Not only is this bad for B, it's extremely bad for A because it reinforces a lack of character and teaches them not to hold themselves accountable. This is a situation wherein "tough love" is necessary.

As I said, I don't AT ALL cleave to the notion that friendship means "no matter what."
Maybe that makes my friendships sound worthlessly conditional, but I like to think that I don't form friendships like some people form relationships; because I'm just plain scared of being alone, and that's going to be my overwhelming motivator.

No, friends, I won't be there for you no matter what. I love you for who you are, if you turn into a monster then you're some one else and not my friend.
I'm friends with you because of who you are, you earned it, I like you for your unique personality that includes traits I admire and hold in very high esteem. If you don't resemble that at all, no, I don't still like you. Why keep the flame going when it always ends in pain after that happens? There is more than enough emphirical support for that!

I'm a firm believer (maybe just short of Ayn Rand, haha) in respecting autonomy and the idea of the sacred definition of each personality. Respect yourself first, and you have the keys to the kingdom of respecting the whole world, and thereby using empathy effectively.
This definition of friendship I'm undressing does not respect individuals, neither B or A. That's the definition of co dependence. It's keeping acquaintances around cause you're too scared to end it and are afraid of having no one to drink with Saturday night.
The friends I have I love more than that, and that's why I can trust their particular brand of impartiality, because I know they'll check my behavior when I step out of line instead of permissively allowing me to fall into moral disrepair. Hard times are aptly the hardest times to make good decisions, and that's when you need people judging you the most. "Judging," as I hear it used by the layman, is often thought of as the opposite of it's definition; as forming a conclusion based on a lack of evidence. Judgment:
–noun

1.

an act or instance of judging.

2.

the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, esp. in matters affecting action; good sense; discretion: a man of sound judgment.

3.

the demonstration or exercise of such ability or capacity: The major was decorated for the judgment he showed under fire.

4.

the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind: Our judgment as to the cause of his failure must rest on the evidence.

5.

the opinion formed: He regretted his hasty judgment.

Notice that their are 4 perfectly lovely definitions of judgment before a negative context is presented. I think peoples' omission of this is behind a notion that we should suspend judgment. Which is just silly. Imagine walking around with your eyes closed to everything! Sadly it happens, and people who do so are mostly incapable of not forming mores of some kind,* simply end up applying it to themselves(don't judge me!) and still judge other people all the more sporadically, and therefore with extreme results(gossip instead of honestly telling some one how you feel).

Anyone on the street can "be supportive" and tell me what I want to hear while I go on a drug bender and do all sorts of messed up things those around me, or some other such thing. Lying, bullshitting, and omission are surprisingly easy in the moment, even if they prove unprofitable in the long run.
Only a real friend will have to cajones to speak up to me in spite of how uncomfortable it makes us both feel, because those are the ones who care about me and what happens to me more than they care about companionship at any price.

*"All men by nature desire to know. An indication of this is the delight we take in our senses; for even apart from their usefulness they are loved for themselves; and above all others the sense of sight. For not only with a view to action, but even when we are not going to do anything, we prefer sight to almost everything else. The reason is that this, most of all the senses, makes us know and brings to light many differences between things."
-Aristotle
Do we not use our sight to know light and dark, to know difference?

Vulnerable Maidens and Vengeful Mothers

"Persephone"
Persephone was the original little girl to fall down into Wonderland. Hades is played by Ralph Fiennes for a reason, by the way. Because he gives us all Stockholm Syndrome.

"The Ghost"
I had a dream about the Ghost of an angry Mother in a house that was haunted with her rage. The walls shook and howled.

Within the twilight chamber spreads apace
The shadow of white Death, and at the door
Invisible Corruption waits to trace
His extreme way to her dim dwelling-place;
The eternal Hunger sits, but pity and awe
Soothe her pale rage, nor dares she to deface
So fair a prey, till darkness, and the law
Of change, shall o’er his sleep the mortal curtain draw.
Adonais by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Secret Room:

The hole to the room:


A close-up of the wallpaper (at least it isn't yellow!). Roses!




I still can't believe that this was discovered in my home after my recurring dreams on the subject! Maybe it's one of those things that magically appears just when you've learned to let go of the need to seek it!
I can't figure out what the room must have been for. It's too short to stand in, but the wallpaper seems to fit its dimensions which leads me to believe that it was built/used at it's current size.
Perhaps it was a separate attic space that the house's first occupants furnished as a playroom for their children. Who knows, it obviously hasn't been open in many many decades.

Dreams Made Real:

As per this post:
We are currently having our house rewired. The workmen just discovered a Secret Room behind our kitchen. It's raised up, above our closet, but below the ceiling and attic. It's very very old, it probably hasn't been used as part of the house since the 1920s (or even later, depending on when the water heater and refrigerator nook was built in to the kitchen). It even still has some wallpaper up in it.
So Neat!!
I'll post pictures soon.

This-way-and-that...

Life has been good lately! This "status cloud" which was generated out of my Facebook status updates seem to confirm it.
I feel as if I've made a lot of progress toward living that feeling I wrote about in my last entry. I had a wonderful day off the other day; huevos rancheros for brunch, time spent with friends, including a beautiful walk through the Mountainview Cemetery. It was a very nice day out, even though Spring still has another month to show up!These three pictures are all from the Cemetery's website. I brought my camera with me, but lately I am trying to spend more time experiencing instead of documenting. Perhaps next time I will take more pictures, maybe when more trees are flowering.






































This is a picture Poet took of me at the Marin Headlands, the only photo I have finished from that set. He's a procrastinator, it may be a while before we see the rest ^__^


Next:
New art....



I am extremely happy with this piece. It's colored pencil, acrylic gold paint, and liquid gold leaf on "Scarlet Letter" paper. It's St. Cecilia. St. Cecilia is my namesaint, Sheila being the anglicized version of Cecilia/Celia .
Saint Celicia was the patron saint of music, she converted her pagan husband to Christianity and revealed to him an angel who crowned them in garlands of roses and lilies. They were both martyred; first the Romans attempted to suffocate her in the baths, but it didn't kill her. Next, they attempted to decapitate her, but her head remained partially attached. It was said she lived for three days before perishing.
Next up, new things:
I love my new boots, I found them on sale, best of all! Just when the world is ready to get rid of all their winter items, I lie in wait, ready to snatch them up!


Another new item, this one constructed by Your's Truly:


I made it using supplies from Michael's, and one of Poet's wisdom teeth.
It took me a very long time to drill through the tooth because I was worried about cracking it, but in the end it worked beautifully!

Soft Animal

I want to be high on life. I just made the most delicious scrabbled eggs with oregano, marjoram, and cheddar cheese. I enjoyed it so much that it literally tasted like happiness, especially with my tung ting ginseng oolong tea. I want more of that, simply enjoying what is happening to me.

I feel like I want to get out in that light, windy rain and go through a hike some place where there are trees, where it is green, gray, and heather brown....which could be many a place right now.

I found this poem on another blog today:

WILD GEESE
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

"You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves."
That part is my favorite.
Speaking of soft animals:
Me and my Tigerlily. She's still growing!
Yesterday we went out to the Marin Headlands for a fashion photoshoot. I don't have the pictures of myself modeling yet, but here are some of the location:



















I didn't take any of these, hopefully we can post our own soon. It was a post-Apocalyptic themed shoot, you could see how that would work out in a place like this:



























After that we went to Aziza for dinner. It was fantastic! I wish I could afford to eat there more often but sadly it is far, far out of my price range, we were only able to go because I had a gift certificate.
I had vegetable couscous with black trumpet mushrooms, and for dessert I had hazelnut dacquoise with pear, and burnt honey ice cream. It was as amazing as it sounds.

1970!

I always loved my parents' old pictures from their 'glory days' in the 1970s.
I'm actually quite envious of the sort of stuff they got up to! They traveled so much. My parents met each other in a political philosophy class, which goes to figure since I went on to become a Philosophy major; the perfect product of their union!
Anyway, here are some of my favorites from the mid to late 1970s, I'll start with Hawaii and other miscellaneous locations:


My mom.


































My dad.


























Total 70s! I love the shirt....
































San Francisco.....






Another one of my mom, with my dad reflected in her amazing 70s sunglasses! I now own that camera he's using.





















My all time FAVORITE picture of my mom:

Note the giant bowie knife and the hatchet. Because either one on it's own just wasn't enough, apparently. I have no idea what they were up to on this trek, but it looks amazing.
I know that at the time, my mom worked for the EPA as an entomologist, so she was often out and about getting dirty and playing with bugs. What a badass...
Also, my dad took all of the pictures excepting the ones he was in.