New Year's Resolutions 2010

New Year’s Resolutions 2010:

Last year I didn’t write up any particular New Year’s Resolutions, but around that time I was in a lot of turmoil so I wrote up some goals for myself to change my situation.
This year, things have been tumultuous, but mostly I have followed through and changed a lot of things for the better. New house, new relationship, new job. There has definitely been plenty of drama, but it seems like most of the loose ends have finally begun to tie themselves up.
Time to clean house and start fresh, and at such a seasonally appropriate time!

I’ve learned a lot this year, especially about relationships, so maybe that’ll be where a lot of my resolutions come from. But without any further ado, here they are:

1. Slowly start thinking about what I want to do with my life next. Now that the dust is settling, I can get pretty comfortable doing what I’m doing, where I’m doing it. So the next thing to think about is: what’s next when I have some savings and can go back to school? I don't know yet!!
2. Decorate the hell out of the house! I never did this in my other places because they never completely felt like home, but this place does so I want to make the most of it and do all the things I dreamed of doing when I was younger and imagined having my own place!
3. Stop stressing so much; I’ve just come out of a stressful situation that I literally couldn't legally extricate myself with (see: Oakland tenant laws)and the best way to appreciate it being over is to learn to enjoy my freedom. I have to not slip into anxiety too easily, which can sometimes happen when you’ve been wringing your hands too long. When you’ve been neurotic for months and suddenly it’s over, it’s surprisingly hard to let your guard down and enjoy things without constantly looking over your shoulder and expecting it all to crap out on you again.
4. Pay off my credit cards! This should be easy, I hardly have any debt (relative to most people my age) and I just got a really decent raise at my work ftw! So my goal is to do it by the end of the year. I’ve already taken the first big step, which is to almost exclusively buy on debit so I know I’m only getting what I can afford with my own money. Next is to polish off what little is left.
5. Stop forming co-dependent relationships with people. Next time I am in an unequal relationship, I need to recognize it up front. This resolution could also be titled ‘stop making excuses for people,’ because if I hear myself making excuses for a person over and over it’s probably a sign that I am too entangled in a situation I shouldn’t be in. If I get bent out of shape continually over a friend who’s self-destructing or being fucked up to others, it probably is a good signal to me that I should back away and just be less intimate with them, so I don’t have to force myself to be uncomfortable with behavior I feel compelled to judge.

This is my most important resolution this year, because I have to take responsibility for the fact that every time I have a falling out with some one it always feels like déjà vu. There’s a clear pattern, and that’s not something I can keep scratching my head quizzically about; I have to start blaming it on myself, because it’s not rocket science that I need to raise my standards and start picking up on warning signs after I go through the same disappointing scenarios 80 times in a row.

6. In congruency with #5: Don’t be reluctant to insure against harmful situations just because it seems awkward at the time. It’s better to err on the side of caution than let people into positions where it can affect your home, your work, and your finances, whatever. Example: I used to think that real friends didn’t need to sign leases, but now I know that real friends won’t have a problem signing leases because real friends would never ask you to put yourself in a situation where you would have to take needless risks for them. If they can say they’ll do it, they shouldn’t have a problem backing it up on paper. Stuff like that.

This resolution is about being confident, taking initiative, and being straight-forward with my needs from the get-go, and not letting reluctance stop me from doing easy things to avoid trouble in the future. It’s also about having the balls to call people on their shit; anything worth saying is worth backing up if they really mean it.

7. Also in congruency with the above resolution: reconnect with friends with whom I had equal relationships in the past, and make new friends to this effect. I don’t mind just having fewer friends but I know it’s probably a better idea to not be lazy and isolated, and to take the time and effort to foster positive relationships in place of the negative ones I’m pruning. Plus, there are so many interesting, independent, and neat people out there...I must seek them! ::strokes beard::
8. Travel more! Not only am I making more money than I was before, but my work schedule is waaaaaaaaaaay more flexible than at my last job. So I could easily arrange to take weekend trips (up to four days) without even using any vacation time! Poet and I can go to places within driving distance pretty easily and keep it cheap, camping or staying at b&bs or motels. I can’t wait to go up and down the coast, or visit the redwoods!
9. Last one: blog like I mean it. Like most people, I spend a bit too much time on the internet. So I want to make my time on here an experience worth having. Photos, art, ideas, etc......I want to share and find it all, and in a fulfilling way, instead of endlessly refreshing updates. I've already got a good start on this, but I want to make it a project.

Here are some totally unrelated beauteous photos by Andy Julia:

































I supervise the Lingerie department at my work. I have to admit I find it all so lovely, and have yet to grow tired of it. I'm also lucky enough to work at a swanky store that is very fashion forward and also luckily, not on the trashy side of things.





















I love lace in all it's forms!

I'm not happy with this scan at all, it's so grainy and the picture looks so much better in real life, but here it is:Brown color pencil on bristol paper.

A take off on this photo:

The unhappiness with technology aside, I'm very happy
with this piece and I feel like I finished it in good time.

When I usually draw women or girls, I tend to make them quite thin and lithe, probably because of the context of our current mainstream/alternative aesthetics, or perhaps as an act of self-insertion or a symbol of frailty, but probably for all of the above reasons.
When you look at these visions of beauty from the turn of the last century, they tend to be a good deal heavier that most pin-ups and models of our time. When I draw a girl from that era, I try to make her softer and fuller, to do otherwise feels disingenuous. Nonetheless I try to split the difference, use it as a bridge between this time and the past, one aesthetic bleeding in between inspiration and perspective.






This is a lovely movie:


I think I like Charlie Chaplin better behind the camera than in front of it.
What can I say, I'm a lover of Buster Keaton, that's the kind of lovable hard-luck case I fall for.
I still haven't seen the end of this movie, it's hard to make myself, I know it will be so sad!

New and Old Art

This is a quick pen sketch I did a couple weeks ago, however I do not have the means to complete it as I usually would before posting it online. While I wait for a new computer I don't have photoshop to add textures and correct color, I don't even have a scanner to use.
Believe it or not often half the work of using photoshop is to make an image resemble itself on a computer screen as it does in the real world.
In any case, here it is:



































And I'd also like to share an older one that I meant to upload previously but somehow missed:
This one was inspired by an image I found in a book of vintage erotica. I loved the concept of the image but it was done so simplistically for a magazine cover, and I wanted to try and spend a bit of time and detail on it, and do it justice.


I'm really proud of the line work and shading I did on this one. I titled it "Cannelle et Clous de Girofle"
which means "cinnamon and cloves."
I sort of love the somewhat naive concepts about eroticism and exotica that came from that era. Not that eroticism on it's own was a naive concept back then, we have a tendency in these times too look back on earlier times as being closeted and ignorant of sex, eroticism, and perversion. Trust me, they could be quite scandalous, they were human back then too, after all!
But I do love the idea of what at the time was considered "exotic" being automatically erotic, there are so many neat photos of such "naughty" fan girls haha....
Maybe I'll make some more art of that theme.






Here is the original:










































Mata Hari:

Other lovelies. Would we think these women were beautiful if they were walking around today? Probably not, we've learned such a critical eye! We should learn to relax and enjoy beauty out of context the way we do when we're looking at someone from another era.