Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Dreads
Around 3 1/2 months ago, I started dreading my hair. I realized that it was no longer an issue of commitment, as I've had dreaded extensions for almost 4 years previous to this.I was telling myself that I was afraid of being held back, but I began to realize that I'd be where I really wanted to be regardless of something liked dread locks, and that if anything I was being more held back by (kick me for sounding so cliche but it's true) being something other than what reflected my true aesthetic self.
I know who I am and who I want to be aesthetically, I've been drawing this aspiration in pictures for years now. She appeared a long time ago, and it was a manifestation of myself. People have said that I my drawings look like me, but I explain that I look like my drawings....that I have become more like my drawings as time passes.
I thought it was kind of funny that in one of the pictures I took tonight the drawing behind me mirrors my profile:
The drawing in the background: 
I actually have the gold earrings in the picture I drew, and I did get them after drawing it. I'm actually pretty proud that I have become closer and closer to my art. I think that as an artist it's a good thing to be in close enough touch with your art to embody it.
Monday, January 11, 2010
New Year's Resolutions 2010
New Year’s Resolutions 2010:
Last year I didn’t write up any particular New Year’s Resolutions, but around that time I was in a lot of turmoil so I wrote up some goals for myself to change my situation.
This year, things have been tumultuous, but mostly I have followed through and changed a lot of things for the better. New house, new relationship, new job. There has definitely been plenty of drama, but it seems like most of the loose ends have finally begun to tie themselves up.
Time to clean house and start fresh, and at such a seasonally appropriate time!
I’ve learned a lot this year, especially about relationships, so maybe that’ll be where a lot of my resolutions come from. But without any further ado, here they are:
1. Slowly start thinking about what I want to do with my life next. Now that the dust is settling, I can get pretty comfortable doing what I’m doing, where I’m doing it. So the next thing to think about is: what’s next when I have some savings and can go back to school? I don't know yet!!
2. Decorate the hell out of the house! I never did this in my other places because they never completely felt like home, but this place does so I want to make the most of it and do all the things I dreamed of doing when I was younger and imagined having my own place!
3. Stop stressing so much; I’ve just come out of a stressful situation that I literally couldn't legally extricate myself with (see: Oakland tenant laws)and the best way to appreciate it being over is to learn to enjoy my freedom. I have to not slip into anxiety too easily, which can sometimes happen when you’ve been wringing your hands too long. When you’ve been neurotic for months and suddenly it’s over, it’s surprisingly hard to let your guard down and enjoy things without constantly looking over your shoulder and expecting it all to crap out on you again.
4. Pay off my credit cards! This should be easy, I hardly have any debt (relative to most people my age) and I just got a really decent raise at my work ftw! So my goal is to do it by the end of the year. I’ve already taken the first big step, which is to almost exclusively buy on debit so I know I’m only getting what I can afford with my own money. Next is to polish off what little is left.
5. Stop forming co-dependent relationships with people. Next time I am in an unequal relationship, I need to recognize it up front. This resolution could also be titled ‘stop making excuses for people,’ because if I hear myself making excuses for a person over and over it’s probably a sign that I am too entangled in a situation I shouldn’t be in. If I get bent out of shape continually over a friend who’s self-destructing or being fucked up to others, it probably is a good signal to me that I should back away and just be less intimate with them, so I don’t have to force myself to be uncomfortable with behavior I feel compelled to judge.
This is my most important resolution this year, because I have to take responsibility for the fact that every time I have a falling out with some one it always feels like déjà vu. There’s a clear pattern, and that’s not something I can keep scratching my head quizzically about; I have to start blaming it on myself, because it’s not rocket science that I need to raise my standards and start picking up on warning signs after I go through the same disappointing scenarios 80 times in a row.
6. In congruency with #5: Don’t be reluctant to insure against harmful situations just because it seems awkward at the time. It’s better to err on the side of caution than let people into positions where it can affect your home, your work, and your finances, whatever. Example: I used to think that real friends didn’t need to sign leases, but now I know that real friends won’t have a problem signing leases because real friends would never ask you to put yourself in a situation where you would have to take needless risks for them. If they can say they’ll do it, they shouldn’t have a problem backing it up on paper. Stuff like that.
This resolution is about being confident, taking initiative, and being straight-forward with my needs from the get-go, and not letting reluctance stop me from doing easy things to avoid trouble in the future. It’s also about having the balls to call people on their shit; anything worth saying is worth backing up if they really mean it.
7. Also in congruency with the above resolution: reconnect with friends with whom I had equal relationships in the past, and make new friends to this effect. I don’t mind just having fewer friends but I know it’s probably a better idea to not be lazy and isolated, and to take the time and effort to foster positive relationships in place of the negative ones I’m pruning. Plus, there are so many interesting, independent, and neat people out there...I must seek them! ::strokes beard::
8. Travel more! Not only am I making more money than I was before, but my work schedule is waaaaaaaaaaay more flexible than at my last job. So I could easily arrange to take weekend trips (up to four days) without even using any vacation time! Poet and I can go to places within driving distance pretty easily and keep it cheap, camping or staying at b&bs or motels. I can’t wait to go up and down the coast, or visit the redwoods!
9. Last one: blog like I mean it. Like most people, I spend a bit too much time on the internet. So I want to make my time on here an experience worth having. Photos, art, ideas, etc......I want to share and find it all, and in a fulfilling way, instead of endlessly refreshing updates. I've already got a good start on this, but I want to make it a project.
Here are some totally unrelated beauteous photos by Andy Julia:
I supervise the Lingerie department at my work. I have to admit I find it all so lovely, and have yet to grow tired of it. I'm also lucky enough to work at a swanky store that is very fashion forward and also luckily, not on the trashy side of things.
I love lace in all it's forms!
Last year I didn’t write up any particular New Year’s Resolutions, but around that time I was in a lot of turmoil so I wrote up some goals for myself to change my situation.
This year, things have been tumultuous, but mostly I have followed through and changed a lot of things for the better. New house, new relationship, new job. There has definitely been plenty of drama, but it seems like most of the loose ends have finally begun to tie themselves up.
Time to clean house and start fresh, and at such a seasonally appropriate time!
I’ve learned a lot this year, especially about relationships, so maybe that’ll be where a lot of my resolutions come from. But without any further ado, here they are:
1. Slowly start thinking about what I want to do with my life next. Now that the dust is settling, I can get pretty comfortable doing what I’m doing, where I’m doing it. So the next thing to think about is: what’s next when I have some savings and can go back to school? I don't know yet!!
2. Decorate the hell out of the house! I never did this in my other places because they never completely felt like home, but this place does so I want to make the most of it and do all the things I dreamed of doing when I was younger and imagined having my own place!
3. Stop stressing so much; I’ve just come out of a stressful situation that I literally couldn't legally extricate myself with (see: Oakland tenant laws)and the best way to appreciate it being over is to learn to enjoy my freedom. I have to not slip into anxiety too easily, which can sometimes happen when you’ve been wringing your hands too long. When you’ve been neurotic for months and suddenly it’s over, it’s surprisingly hard to let your guard down and enjoy things without constantly looking over your shoulder and expecting it all to crap out on you again.
4. Pay off my credit cards! This should be easy, I hardly have any debt (relative to most people my age) and I just got a really decent raise at my work ftw! So my goal is to do it by the end of the year. I’ve already taken the first big step, which is to almost exclusively buy on debit so I know I’m only getting what I can afford with my own money. Next is to polish off what little is left.
5. Stop forming co-dependent relationships with people. Next time I am in an unequal relationship, I need to recognize it up front. This resolution could also be titled ‘stop making excuses for people,’ because if I hear myself making excuses for a person over and over it’s probably a sign that I am too entangled in a situation I shouldn’t be in. If I get bent out of shape continually over a friend who’s self-destructing or being fucked up to others, it probably is a good signal to me that I should back away and just be less intimate with them, so I don’t have to force myself to be uncomfortable with behavior I feel compelled to judge.
This is my most important resolution this year, because I have to take responsibility for the fact that every time I have a falling out with some one it always feels like déjà vu. There’s a clear pattern, and that’s not something I can keep scratching my head quizzically about; I have to start blaming it on myself, because it’s not rocket science that I need to raise my standards and start picking up on warning signs after I go through the same disappointing scenarios 80 times in a row.
6. In congruency with #5: Don’t be reluctant to insure against harmful situations just because it seems awkward at the time. It’s better to err on the side of caution than let people into positions where it can affect your home, your work, and your finances, whatever. Example: I used to think that real friends didn’t need to sign leases, but now I know that real friends won’t have a problem signing leases because real friends would never ask you to put yourself in a situation where you would have to take needless risks for them. If they can say they’ll do it, they shouldn’t have a problem backing it up on paper. Stuff like that.
This resolution is about being confident, taking initiative, and being straight-forward with my needs from the get-go, and not letting reluctance stop me from doing easy things to avoid trouble in the future. It’s also about having the balls to call people on their shit; anything worth saying is worth backing up if they really mean it.
7. Also in congruency with the above resolution: reconnect with friends with whom I had equal relationships in the past, and make new friends to this effect. I don’t mind just having fewer friends but I know it’s probably a better idea to not be lazy and isolated, and to take the time and effort to foster positive relationships in place of the negative ones I’m pruning. Plus, there are so many interesting, independent, and neat people out there...I must seek them! ::strokes beard::
8. Travel more! Not only am I making more money than I was before, but my work schedule is waaaaaaaaaaay more flexible than at my last job. So I could easily arrange to take weekend trips (up to four days) without even using any vacation time! Poet and I can go to places within driving distance pretty easily and keep it cheap, camping or staying at b&bs or motels. I can’t wait to go up and down the coast, or visit the redwoods!
9. Last one: blog like I mean it. Like most people, I spend a bit too much time on the internet. So I want to make my time on here an experience worth having. Photos, art, ideas, etc......I want to share and find it all, and in a fulfilling way, instead of endlessly refreshing updates. I've already got a good start on this, but I want to make it a project.
Here are some totally unrelated beauteous photos by Andy Julia:
I supervise the Lingerie department at my work. I have to admit I find it all so lovely, and have yet to grow tired of it. I'm also lucky enough to work at a swanky store that is very fashion forward and also luckily, not on the trashy side of things.
I love lace in all it's forms!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I'm not happy with this scan at all, it's so grainy and the picture looks so much better in real life, but here it is:Brown color pencil on bristol paper.
A take off on this photo:
The unhappiness with technology aside, I'm very happy
with this piece and I feel like I finished it in good time.
When I usually draw women or girls, I tend to make them quite thin and lithe, probably because of the context of our current mainstream/alternative aesthetics, or perhaps as an act of self-insertion or a symbol of frailty, but probably for all of the above reasons.
When you look at these visions of beauty from the turn of the last century, they tend to be a good deal heavier that most pin-ups and models of our time. When I draw a girl from that era, I try to make her softer and fuller, to do otherwise feels disingenuous. Nonetheless I try to split the difference, use it as a bridge between this time and the past, one aesthetic bleeding in between inspiration and perspective.
This is a lovely movie:
I think I like Charlie Chaplin better behind the camera than in front of it.
What can I say, I'm a lover of Buster Keaton, that's the kind of lovable hard-luck case I fall for.
I still haven't seen the end of this movie, it's hard to make myself, I know it will be so sad!
A take off on this photo:
The unhappiness with technology aside, I'm very happywith this piece and I feel like I finished it in good time.
When I usually draw women or girls, I tend to make them quite thin and lithe, probably because of the context of our current mainstream/alternative aesthetics, or perhaps as an act of self-insertion or a symbol of frailty, but probably for all of the above reasons.
When you look at these visions of beauty from the turn of the last century, they tend to be a good deal heavier that most pin-ups and models of our time. When I draw a girl from that era, I try to make her softer and fuller, to do otherwise feels disingenuous. Nonetheless I try to split the difference, use it as a bridge between this time and the past, one aesthetic bleeding in between inspiration and perspective.
This is a lovely movie:
I think I like Charlie Chaplin better behind the camera than in front of it.
What can I say, I'm a lover of Buster Keaton, that's the kind of lovable hard-luck case I fall for.
I still haven't seen the end of this movie, it's hard to make myself, I know it will be so sad!
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