New Year’s Resolutions 2010:
Last year I didn’t write up any particular New Year’s Resolutions, but around that time I was in a lot of turmoil so I wrote up some goals for myself to change my situation.
This year, things have been tumultuous, but mostly I have followed through and changed a lot of things for the better. New house, new relationship, new job. There has definitely been plenty of drama, but it seems like most of the loose ends have finally begun to tie themselves up.
Time to clean house and start fresh, and at such a seasonally appropriate time!
I’ve learned a lot this year, especially about relationships, so maybe that’ll be where a lot of my resolutions come from. But without any further ado, here they are:
1. Slowly start thinking about what I want to do with my life next. Now that the dust is settling, I can get pretty comfortable doing what I’m doing, where I’m doing it. So the next thing to think about is: what’s next when I have some savings and can go back to school? I don't know yet!!
2. Decorate the hell out of the house! I never did this in my other places because they never completely felt like home, but this place does so I want to make the most of it and do all the things I dreamed of doing when I was younger and imagined having my own place!
3. Stop stressing so much; I’ve just come out of a stressful situation that I literally couldn't legally extricate myself with (see: Oakland tenant laws)and the best way to appreciate it being over is to learn to enjoy my freedom. I have to not slip into anxiety too easily, which can sometimes happen when you’ve been wringing your hands too long. When you’ve been neurotic for months and suddenly it’s over, it’s surprisingly hard to let your guard down and enjoy things without constantly looking over your shoulder and expecting it all to crap out on you again.
4. Pay off my credit cards! This should be easy, I hardly have any debt (relative to most people my age) and I just got a really decent raise at my work ftw! So my goal is to do it by the end of the year. I’ve already taken the first big step, which is to almost exclusively buy on debit so I know I’m only getting what I can afford with my own money. Next is to polish off what little is left.
5. Stop forming co-dependent relationships with people. Next time I am in an unequal relationship, I need to recognize it up front. This resolution could also be titled ‘stop making excuses for people,’ because if I hear myself making excuses for a person over and over it’s probably a sign that I am too entangled in a situation I shouldn’t be in. If I get bent out of shape continually over a friend who’s self-destructing or being fucked up to others, it probably is a good signal to me that I should back away and just be less intimate with them, so I don’t have to force myself to be uncomfortable with behavior I feel compelled to judge.
This is my most important resolution this year, because I have to take responsibility for the fact that every time I have a falling out with some one it always feels like déjà vu. There’s a clear pattern, and that’s not something I can keep scratching my head quizzically about; I have to start blaming it on myself, because it’s not rocket science that I need to raise my standards and start picking up on warning signs after I go through the same disappointing scenarios 80 times in a row.
6. In congruency with #5: Don’t be reluctant to insure against harmful situations just because it seems awkward at the time. It’s better to err on the side of caution than let people into positions where it can affect your home, your work, and your finances, whatever. Example: I used to think that real friends didn’t need to sign leases, but now I know that real friends won’t have a problem signing leases because real friends would never ask you to put yourself in a situation where you would have to take needless risks for them. If they can say they’ll do it, they shouldn’t have a problem backing it up on paper. Stuff like that.
This resolution is about being confident, taking initiative, and being straight-forward with my needs from the get-go, and not letting reluctance stop me from doing easy things to avoid trouble in the future. It’s also about having the balls to call people on their shit; anything worth saying is worth backing up if they really mean it.
7. Also in congruency with the above resolution: reconnect with friends with whom I had equal relationships in the past, and make new friends to this effect. I don’t mind just having fewer friends but I know it’s probably a better idea to not be lazy and isolated, and to take the time and effort to foster positive relationships in place of the negative ones I’m pruning. Plus, there are so many interesting, independent, and neat people out there...I must seek them! ::strokes beard::
8. Travel more! Not only am I making more money than I was before, but my work schedule is waaaaaaaaaaay more flexible than at my last job. So I could easily arrange to take weekend trips (up to four days) without even using any vacation time! Poet and I can go to places within driving distance pretty easily and keep it cheap, camping or staying at b&bs or motels. I can’t wait to go up and down the coast, or visit the redwoods!
9. Last one: blog like I mean it. Like most people, I spend a bit too much time on the internet. So I want to make my time on here an experience worth having. Photos, art, ideas, etc......I want to share and find it all, and in a fulfilling way, instead of endlessly refreshing updates. I've already got a good start on this, but I want to make it a project.
Here are some totally unrelated beauteous photos by
Andy Julia:
I supervise the Lingerie department at my work. I have to admit I find it all so lovely, and have yet to grow tired of it. I'm also lucky enough to work at a swanky store that is very fashion forward and also luckily, not on the trashy side of things.
I love lace in all it's forms!
